i dont know...

I really don't know what to do with myself anymore. I honestly, honestly I feel stuck. And I don't really know if it's because I don't feel well or if its for more shallow, self absorbed reasons. I mean I could say that I'm upset because someone doesn't like me, but what's that? that's a horrible reason. I guess I just have to let go and roll with the punches. And I'm really trying to, it's just hard not to be emotional sometimes. It's hard to contain my screams when someone's being an ass. I just want to yell, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
Maybe I should be asking myself that same question.... what the fuck is wrong with me? I'm not over it am I? I mean I try to rationalize my way out of it and look at me, I'm left with a mess, a total mess. Why is it that it bugs me? I know, deep inside, I know. It's not any of the reasons I've said so far, its not that he doesn't like me, it's not that I need some space, it's not that I don't like him. The reason I am being a complete jerk not only to him but to everyone around me, is because I did like him. And not only did I like him, but I was a fool. I mean, I'm not dumb, I am not an idiot, or at least I'd like to think so. I just keep beating myself up about all of this because I cannot believe I was so stupid. How could I be so naive? Of course he never really liked me. of course nothing was ever going on... but then, it just doesn't make sense. and that's why I'm frustrated. I am so confused and angry with myself that I just can't be civil. I don't know, I mean I guess I should talk to him, and sort it all out, but how embarrassing is that? Excuse me, did you ever like me? Could you please explain to me what last semester was, so that I can finally move on with my life? I just need to know. thanks.

Oh my god, I need to get over this. I really do, I just don't know how.